Tuesday, February 15, 2011

You don't look like a size 12

'Ugh! Someone else just told me I don't look like a size 12! They said I look like an 8. Don't they know its rude?'
"But you don't look like a size 12. Do I really have to keep reminding you you're tall?"
'You tell me everyday. What's a size 12 supposed to look like?'
'I don't know. Fat?'

Let me explain. I wear UK size 10 tops and UK size 12 bottoms (UK size 12 is probably a US 8 or 10? I'm not sure)
I'm not sure why this statement rubs me the wrong way. What's a size 12 supposed to look like? Fat? Size matters alright but the way you look matters more. A woman can be a toned size 14 and look way better than a flabby 8. The way you look in a dress or jeans matters more than the number on it. Which is probably why they don't plaster the size tag on the outside of the dress. I'm sick of people telling me I don't look like a size 12. I'm not a size!

I don't want to be skinny. Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being skinny. Well skinny healthy anyway. Victoria Beckham looks skinny unhealthy. Jessica Alba is skinny healthy. See my point? The other day my friend said to me 'Wow you're skinny now.' and I was slightly irritated. Its not that I think its bad to be skinny. I just don't think its for me. When I think of beautiful bodies I think of women like Shakira first. Then I think of women like Jessica Alba. I think they're both beautiful but Shakira's body is what I strive to be like.

And even though now I really love the way my body looks. I don't feel like it inside. I take pictures of myself (like the one in this post) and I can't believe its me. I walk by my reflection and I double back. I don't ever wanna be fat again. Sometimes when I think of having children the first thing that comes to my mind is

'Damn how am I gonna lose all that weight after child birth?'

There's this girl in my University. I've complained about how people keep talking about how much weight I've lost, but this girl takes the piss. She is ALWAYS telling me how she wants to lose weight and asking me what I do. And my reply is ALWAYS the same. Its like she expects me to have a different answer every time. Maybe next time she asks me I'll kick her. I don't mind people asking me for advice. I'm happy to offer it. But I give her advice, she doesn't follow it and then she comes back for the same advice. Also its like she waits till we're among a group of people before she starts going on and on about how I've lost weight. Like she's purposely trying to draw attention to me. She's bloody annoying.

'When am I gonna stop feeling like an elephant?'

'When you realize that if you were fat back then you're not anymore.'

'Cheers to the 12's.' I said grinning.

'Oh shut up.'

That's really what she said.

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